the sky is the limit

On pneumonia, car accident, and living life to the fullest (part 1)

2009-03-06T14:35:00.005+13:00

I could not believe it. I was diagnosed with pneumonia on part of my left lung. Now, it’s been a relatively healthy 4 years for me (well, save for occasional common cold), with not a single GP visit. So naturally it was a bit of a shock to me. But I know I am responsible for catching it, and now I am responsible for healing it – so I accepted it. Read on…

If you’ve known me for the last few years you probably could tell that I’m not a big fan of the allopathic medicine and prefer natural approach to health. What I meant by natural approach is helping or creating the necessary conditions for the body to heal itself naturally, instead of bombarding it with synthetic pharmaceutical drugs that often only mask the symptoms instead of addressing the root cause, and have more harmful side effects than telling your local gang member he’s freakin’ ugly and his gang sucks :). Well that’s not a blanket statement however, as I believe pharmaceutical drugs has its place. In certain cases it may be what’s needed to safe life in life threatening situations. My concern is that it is too often used for everything, even for something as minor as headache, and when it is (mis)used for ‘invented diseases’ like ADD/ADHD when they do more harm than good, turning healthy kids into drugged zombies. I’ll elaborate a bit and share the links about this later on in this post…

However, two days ago I decided to visit my cheerful GP, Dr.Wong, as the fever seemed to come and go and the cough was persistent. Well my wife kinda pushed me too I must admit hehehe… He put me on antibiotics – I did not resist this because I believe this is one of the cases where it is appropriate. My wife and I then visited the pharmacy a few doors down from my GP’s. The friendly pharmacist recommended some pro-biotics to replace good bacteria that get killed by the antibiotics, so I got some too. This particular one claims that there are 25 billions good bacteria (with name like Acidophilus, I bet they are Greek :)) in one capsule.

Yep, so here I am resting at home (yeah now and then I do check my facebook or what have you, or even updating my blog heheheh), but admist my interrupted sleeps, meditation (to help me go back to sleep, worked 80% of the time), and simply the mind wandering when you are bed-ridden, I received insights and images that in turn made me even feeling grateful for this pneumonia.

Grateful? Well, the persistent coughing has exercised my muscles and made my six-pack a bit more like a Greek god’s :). Yeah that's something to be grateful for, but in all seriousness, the feeling of gratitude is deeper than that.

I’ve always believed that my outer world is merely a reflection of my inner world, and that there’s a mental pattern for every disease that manifests in my physical body. This time is no difference, I thought. So I pulled out the beautiful book called “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay from my bookshelf. I remember buying it at a neat bookshop at Gladstone Rd. Gisborne, on our first trip to that town in autumn 2007. This was actually the 2nd time I bought the book of the same title, I gave the first one to my mom 3 or 4 years ago. It really is a beautiful book, mine is a special edition with great illustrations and full colored pages! So I opened the pages and started to look up “pneumonia” and “lung problems” in the table.

For pneumonia, it is said that the mental patterns can be:

Desperate? Hmmm, not that I can think of.
Tired of life? Hmmm, nope… most of the time I think life is soooo good :). So this can’t be it.
Emotional wounds that are not allowed to heal? Hmmm… maybe, but I can’t think of any of them yet.

And for lung problems they can be:

Depression? Hmmm, nope. I’m a happy chappie, at least most of the time.
Grief? Hmmm, not this either.
Fear on taking in life? Hmmm, not really – I always welcome new experience. But I’ll dig deeper.
Not feeling worthy of living life fully? Hmmm… perhaps we’re on to something here, because lately the desire to “live life to the fullest” was the driving force behind the choices I made.

(to be continued)…

What energies do you allow into your life?

2009-01-31T23:22:00.004+13:00

Hello again my friends, I’ve been meaning to write a blog on this topic for awhile but never got around to it, until now! I was watching an introduction for a new video on "Psychic Self Defense" by Matt Furey (author, martial arts master, entrepreneur extraordinaire, among others) at http://www.psycho-cyb.com/psychic_self_defense.html when suddenly I felt that nudge to write. Thanks Matt!

Okay, back to the title. What kind of energies do you allow into your life?
Huh? That’s quite a common response I get when I ask this question.

Let me elaborate a bit… think of a day in your life, perhaps yesterday or even today. How did you feel at the end of that day? Happy? Sad? Angry? So-so?

Remember the people you interacted with. Were the interactions pleasant? Were they supportive? Uplifting? Annoying? Utterly useless? How did these people make you feel?
Did you watch the news? Was it mostly good news or bad news? How did the news make you feel?
To relax, did you watch a movie or play a video game? What’s the movie / video game about? How did it make you feel after you watched / played?

Unless you live in a cave, you’ve probably heard this phrase “everything is energy”. Yes, when you come right down to it, everything in existence is made of energy. It is the “building block” if you will. Both the physical and non-physical – such as our mind, our thoughts – are no exception. Space and time are the dimensions within which energy moves.

Humans like you and me are complex energy systems that interact with everything around us, which are also energy systems. When you look at this ‘building block’ level, everything is connected. To illustrate, when a butterfly flaps its wing in Japan, it affects the wind blowing over Jakarta… and when you are angry with someone, it affects the universe as a whole, although you can’t really see it.

Earlier on I asked you to think about a day in your life, and how you felt at the end of that day. Did other people you interacted with, the news you listened, the movie you watched or video games you played, affect how you feel? If you answer honestly, if you are a flesh & blood human, you would say “of course”.

From my own observation, the mainstream media reports mainly the negative stuff – ironically - because it sells. Did you feel a bit depressed or heavy after hearing the news about the terrorist attacks, the state of the economy, accidents in places you probably never heard of? On a more positive note, did you smile when you recall that a kind stranger put a coin into your expired parking meter, or feel uplifted when you found your good old friend you haven’t met in 20 years in Facebook?

Indeed, back to the energy as the “building block” of the whole existence, everything you are interacting with, is energy. The people you meet and talk to, the news you listen, the movie you watched, the video games you play, affect your energy system whether you are conscious of it or not. In fact, our conscious mind is aware of a very very tiny portion (20 bits of information out of 20,000,000 might give you some idea) – the rest is absorbed into your subconscious without any filtering. In turn, it is what’s in your subconscious that largely affects how you feel, how you see the world, and how you react to experiences in your life. Is it any wonder that the level of crime and violence are escalating among young people – given the amount of the example given in the TV, movies and video games nowadays? Consider this fact:

The average kid watches 4 hours of television each day.
By age 18 the average child has seen 16,000 simulated murders and 200,000 acts of violence on TV.
TV shows have an average of 40 acts of violence an hour.
40% of programs feature "bad" characters who are never or rarely punished

Before we can do something about anything, first we need the awareness. Now that we are aware that everything around us affects us, we can choose to be more selective of what kind of energies you allow to interact with your energy system.

I don’t know about you, but personally I prefer to feel happy than depressed. I notice that the happier I feel, the ‘luckier’ I am and the more I attract experiences to be happy about. Wouldn’t it be cool if we can be happy most (if not all) the time? The good news is that we absolutely can, if we take responsibility of our own life and choose to!

For a start, we can choose not to listen to negative news, not to watch movies or play video games that have violence, not to listen to music with negative lyrics etc. I now only look at the news online from time to time, because I can choose to just skim the headlines to see what’s happening without being spoon-fed the full blown negative news like on TV or radio. If it’s something really important I would hear about it from others anyway. Maybe it’s just me… but the less I watch TV, it is much easier for me to feel happy!

To take it further, surround yourself with positive people that support you. If someone is dragging you down, find a way of how to deal with that kind of person more effectively. There are countless books or articles that you can find on how to do that in the ‘self help’ section of your local library or bookstore, or even online.

If you know what you’re passionate about (your hobby is a very good clue), surround yourself with like-minded people, and get to know those who are already in a higher level so you can learn from them. This will keep you inspired and motivated, and it will be much easier to focus on the positive. I can guarantee that you will feel much happier too.

To increase your immunity to outside negative influences, have an open mind and get to know the clearing techniques like EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), The Sedona Method, or even some more unusual ones like Ho’oponopono – all these methods can help with clearing the subconscious from the clutter you’ve accumulated. Check out the books or audiobooks by Joe Vitale, Wayne Dyer etc – just do some Google-ing and you shall find! Explore the methods presented and find one that works for you – no one method is suitable to everyone. If it feels right for you, it probably is.

All this will help you to be more in control of what kind of energies you allow into your life, and over time you will become more ‘immune’ to the negative ones. It is your defense mechanism if you will.

Well, see if it works for you my friends… I consider myself a perpetual beginner in this matter and just barely scratch the surface but I know what I share has worked for me and I hope it can be of value to you too.

Ciao for now and be well!!

PS: I know my writing / blogging style so far is probably ‘atrocious’ :) but hey I’d rather start writing - and get better at it as I go - than waiting!

What recession?

2009-01-11T19:06:00.000+13:00

In the last few months, pretty much every day I hear people mention the R word, talking about the tough times, etc. Sometimes it is tempting to join the conversation and rehash the ‘facts’ that support the mainstream opinion. But as I know better now, that it is better to focus on the solution rather than the problem, I now can consciously choose to refrain from such discussion.

On the introduction of “Life’s Missing Instruction Manual”, Joe Vitale ( www.mrfire.com ) gave several examples that collectively we all have got through ALL so called ‘bad times’. We got through the Great Depression of 1929, two World Wars, and recently the Y2K panic.

What appears to be gloom and doom is often just the focus of the media.

Gandhi once said “When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it… always.”

The point is, Joe said: Life will always have ups and downs. The secret is to flow with the tide as best we can. Complaining about what is keeps you from spotting or even creating new opportunities. In every panic, in every generation, men and women with eyes wide open saw and seized opportunities.

This “bad time” might become the greatest period of prosperity for us.

There are opportunities around us… it is up to us to choose. Do we listen to mainstream media with all those doom and gloom? Or do we keep our eyes wide open so we can act when new opportunities come up?

As Joe said, listen, act, and prosper.

Ciao for now and be well my friends!

What is your Prosperity IQ?

2009-01-10T06:06:00.000+13:00

If you have followed my blog at http://zensei8.blogspot.com/ you may know that from meditation I often got inspired to write and share about something dear to my heart. Well, that’s what happened on my morning meditation today.

Out of nowhere I remembered this little Prosperity IQ Quiz, which I found in Joe Vitale’s audiobook “The Attractor Factor” I had been listening a lot. The quiz was not created by Joe, but by Randy Gage from Prosperity Power Institute http://www.myprosperitysecrets.com/

I did this quiz myself and the result was quite revealing. It has helped me gaining clarity in this particular area of my life. I became more aware that there are so many limiting beliefs I bought into while growing up… the deeper they are in the subconscious, the more powerful they are.
Oh well here is the quiz… see how you score and feel free to leave a comment!

The Prosperity IQ Quiz
1. Do you secretly fear that if you become wealthy your family and friends might not like you anymore?

2. When you grew up, were you ever told things like “We may not be rich, but at least we’re honest!”?

3. Did your religious upbringing teach you that it is noble to sacrifice now, and that your reward will come in the afterlife?

4. Did you (or do you) feel guilty when you started to earn more than your parents did?

5. Were you raised to fit in and not do anything to stand out?

6. Did you grow up liking shows like Dallas, Dynasty, Gilligan’s Island, MASH and the Beverly Hillbillies where rich people were always presented as unscrupulous and conniving, or pretentious and bumbling?

7. Do you have chronic health challenges that doctors can’t seem to solve?

8. Did you ever get jealous of people with expensive clothes, cars and houses–which may have led you to develop a subconscious “hate the rich” mentality?

9. On some level, do you think it is somehow noble, romantic or spiritual to be poor?

10. Did you ever end a negative relationship–then immediately replace it with another one with a person just like the last one?

11. Have you sometimes used judgemental expressions like “poor as a church mouse” “filthy rich” or “obscenely wealthy”?

12. Have you ever made excuses for failure by saying things like “you have to have money to make money” “you have to know someone” or “you have to get in at the top”?

13. Do you relish being the underdog and fighting against the odds all the time?

14. Is it possible that you are experiencing health challenges, financial challenges, or business failures in order to evoke sympathy and attention from the people you are close to?

15. Are you in a stable relationship, have enough money to meet your needs, and basically healthy–but just feel like life is passing you by?

What is your Score?
If you answered No to 13 to 15 questions: you have a very strong prosperity consciousness and can probably pass this quiz along to someone else.

If you answered Yes to three or more questions: You likely have some issues of worthiness on a subconscious level. You may be in a holding pattern, afraid to leave your comfort zone. You’re probably not radically unhappy, but there is no passion and excitement in your life. You know something is missing, but you may not know what.

If you answered yes to five or more questions: you are quite likely in a stagnancy cycle. You make small advances, but also experience set-backs, so that you are not really breaking through to the real success and happiness and desire and deserve.

If you answer Yes to seven or more questions: You are headed toward, or already experiencing, a definite downward track toward serious emotional, physical and financial challenges. This is the kind of “victim cycle” Randy Gage was on when he lost everything when he was 30 before transforming his life and becoming a multimillionaire. It is imperative that you take immediate action to break the pattern and stop the failure cycle. This will involve uncovering the limiting beliefs you possess on a subconscious level and radically reprogramming yourself with positive ones.

This quiz was from Randy Gage http://www.myprosperitysecrets.com/

How do you score?
Ciao for now and be well my friends! :)

Look inside...

2008-12-30T10:44:00.000+13:00

And a man said, Speak to us of Self-Knowledge.
And he answered, saying:
Your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights.
But your ears thirst for the sound of your heart's knowledge.
You would know in words that which you have always known in thought.
You would touch with your fingers the naked body of your dreams.

And it is well you should.
The hidden well-spring of your soul must needs rise and run murmuring to the sea;
And the treasure of your infinite depths would be revealed to your eyes.
But let there be no scales to weigh your unknown treasures;
And seek not the depths of your knowledge with staff or sounding line.
For self is a sea boundless and measureless.
Say not, "I have found the truth," but rather, "I have found a truth."
Say not, "I have found the path of the soul."
Say rather, "I have met the soul walking upon my path."
For the soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed.
The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals.

I have always loved this particular poem from "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran as it contains profound spiritual truths.

As Carl Jung says
Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes

2008 almost ends… a perfect time to get quiet, look inside and listen – what does your heart tell you?

Ciao and be well my friends!

What you see in others is inside you

2008-12-21T06:54:00.000+13:00

Hello again my friends! I feel like sharing some of my experiences so here it is... Last Saturday, together with friends from our Heart Meditation group, we went to visit a number of pensioner housing complexes in West Auckland. The mission was simple… to give a small gift to those less fortunate to cheer up their day, as a way of giving back to the community and as an exercise in opening your heart to fellow human. Plus this is nearing Christmas time so we think it was a perfect time. Well I’ve never done this before so it was kinda stepping outside my comfort zone too…

These pensioner housing complexes are block of units purpose built to house the elderly after they left the workforce, maintained by Housing New Zealand who provides affordable housing for those considered on low income bracket. These units are modestly sized and pretty basic, but I think the standard is actually quite good. The more affluent retirees usually live in private retirement villages with better condition and facilities. In the complexes that we went to, most of the occupants live alone and most of them are over 60s – some of them are still very healthy with clear mind and cheerful, some are less mobile and/or look depressed.

There was one old war veteran that struggles to walk (he has one of those mobility scooters to get around), that still proudly wears his veteran jacket with various badges and pins. He looked a bit confused at first but soon began to light up. From what he told us and the photos he showed us, he seemed to have fond memories of his time in the service, and of his late wife who was once Miss Wanganui – it seems that he misses the ‘good old days’ much. At some point in our conversation, he pointed to a small wooden statue that he carved himself, and asked us to ‘pick it up from the head’. You might have seen something like this before. The statue was made of two parts, the bottom one is the base and glued to the table and the upper part (head & upper body) is hollow and encloses the bottom one. So normally the bottom part is hidden inside the upper one. Now this bottom part has a spring mechanism so that when the upper part is lifted up, this statue’s “thingy” suddenly springs to life! Well we all had a good laugh… and when we moved on to the next unit, he looked obviously happier than when we first saw him… that made us happy too :).

Another one is a classic example of ‘the attractor factor’ or ‘the law of attraction’ at work. This guy was quite a character – he’s an upbeat person and has a bright yellow van with big writing “I SUPPORT RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS” and even gave us a business card that has the same statement and his phone number. He just moved to one of the units in the complex, in fact he was still moving his stuff from his van to his unit. We all found it uncanny that he attracted the ‘random act of kindness’, or rather, we co-created that very event!

Going from door to door in three different housing complexes, we noticed that were met with different responses – from the very happy and grateful, to the folks that answered the door with reservation and suspicion, to the chatty ones, to those who won’t open the door, and those who chose not to receive for whatever reason. However, at least we were able to elicit a sincere smile from every single one of them… even one who chose not to receive the gift! For us that’s a priceless reward in itself.

Well, I think it was an interesting experience (plus the nice lady at the bakery we visited on the way back gave us a free muffin too heheheh). Everyone from our group enjoyed it for what it was and afterwards we talked about making it more regular. One observation I made is that what we notice in others’ behaviour or reaction is because we have it inside ourselves. For example, what I saw in the reactions of the people we met are in me too:
- I feel happy to receive unexpected gifts
- Sometimes I can be unwilling to receive something given to me for free, for whatever reason I then justify
- I see others with suspicion, or I reject other people without first finding out what they want

each of these actions has an underlying beliefs behind them:
- I believe that giving is good
- I believe that there is no such thing as a free lunch
- I believe there are many bad people and they’re out to get me

These beliefs frame my experiences into perceptions that make sense to me – they make me feel certain ways, and the feeling then shapes my actions.

Talking about beliefs, in “The Key”, Joe Vitale says that we are living in a belief-driven universe. Our beliefs as to what is possible, our realities, and our worthiness, etc., filters what comes to us. What we believe, consciously and unconsciously, is what we get.

By understanding that our beliefs shape our reality, we can be more aware of self-limiting ones and work on clearing them. I will elaborate more on beliefs and the clearing methods in my next blogs when I got around to it (I'll be having a well-deserved holiday to Gisborne and Napier on Monday, yaaay!)… so stay tuned!

I hope you all have a safe and wonderful Christmas and a happy and prosperous New Year! Ciao and be well! :)

T I I S G - Turn it into something good

2008-12-13T10:03:00.000+13:00

Gidday! My old best friend Denny posted a photo of him with Nick Vujicic (The Man Without Limbs, http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/ ) in Facebook this morning… and I suddenly felt the nudge to write up this short blog. Well I’m officially working from home today doing server migration, but since I’m waiting for the data to be transferred from the old server to the new one, I might as well use the waiting time to do something productive hehehe.

Anyway, back to Nick Vujicic. This guy is 25 years old and was born without arms or legs – something that, for most of us, is unthinkable and would probably crush our spirit or zest for life if it happened to us.

But for Nick, with his apparent love and surrender to God, the countless challenges and obstacles does not matter – he uses his condition to rise above and inspire people. In fact, his personal story helps him to be able to speak to groups of all kinds – young and old, impoverished, imprisoned, business people, children, people of all races, those with disabilities and those without them. He now travels extensively around the world, to share his testimony and love of God and inspire people from all walks of life.

Nick is an embodiment of the TIISG principle, which stands for Turn It Into Something Good. I first heard about this principle in Joe Vitale’s audiobook “The Attractor Factor”, which earlier version was called “Spiritual Marketing”. In the audiobook Joe shared the life story of Napoleon Hill and P.T. Barnum on how they turned something “negative” into something positive – just like Nick Vujicic does. You can read the article at http://www.soaringprofits.com/secretofnapoleonhill.shtml

We are often unaware that we have the ability to do this too. It is a choice. No matter what happens, take a deep breath and ask, “How can I turn this into something good?”

This question redirects your mind, because instead of looking at the problem, you are now looking for solutions. Isn’t this a brilliant way to learn how to operate your own brain? You become the master, not the slave, of your life.

The answer to the question will bring you new choices, happiness, and may lead you to wealth you never dreamed of before.

Ciao and be well my friends!

The Final Analysis

2008-11-30T06:23:00.001+13:00

Perhaps you have similar experience too. For some reason, I always wake up around an hour earlier on weekends. Instead of going back to sleep (and feeling sluggish and spacey afterwards), often I choose to sit down and meditate for around 20 mins.

That's exactly what happened this morning, though I slept quite late last night after coming back from Flamenco Del Sur concert - which was fantastic. The concert itself finished around 10pm but some of us hang around at Rod Capper's house where the concert was held, to chat and network with fellow classical guitarists, learning new tricks from others, and trying some of Rod's new and not so new guitars (yep, guitarists LOVES to try other's guitars ;)). Oh perhaps I should mention too that Rod is a luthier (guitar maker) based here in Auckland , check out his website at http://www.capperguitars.com/

Sorry I digressed. Toward the end this morning's meditation, I suddenly remembered about this poem I've known for many years, which used to grace my fridge's door :). Somehow I felt the nudge to share it with you... so here it is!

You may have read it before. Little known fact is that it was written by Dr. Kent M. Keith, not Mother Teresa. It is frequently attributed to Mother Teresa as she had it posted on her wall.

The Final Analysis

People are often unreasonable, illogical,
and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, People may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone
could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the FINAL analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway

Ciao & be well!!

Being 100% Responsible For Your Life – Taking It To A Whole New Level

2008-11-27T14:47:00.000+13:00

Dear friends, perhaps you heard or read this somewhere before, that we can choose between taking a role of a victim where ‘life happens to me, and it sucks!’, or to take 100% responsibility for whatever happens in your life. This is one of the principles I hold dear in my heart. I previously even posted a blog on this subject, based on the first principle on Jack Canfield’s book “The Success Principles”. In short, the formula is :

Event + Response = Outcome

This means your response to an event will determine the outcome you get. If you don’t like the outcome, use it to learn what didn’t work, and change the way you response so next time you get a different outcome. It comes back to a (too) often quoted line by Albert Einstein “Insanity is to keep doing the same thing but expecting different result”. So you can choose to be 100% responsible for all your thoughts, words, and action – and for all the outcomes you get.

Well I thought I’ve had this pretty much figured out, as it’s been a integral part of how I’ve been conducting my life for some time. Little I knew that I was just barely scratching the surface in this ‘taking 100% responsibility’ stuff!

About 3 weeks ago I felt guided to learn more about an ancient Hawaiian problem solving method called Ho’oponopono (see www.hooponopono.org), after hearing about it in an audiobook by Joe Vitale, called The Key. I felt intrigued by it and proceeded to obtain his other audiobook, Zero Limits, which is centred in Joe’s experiences with Dr.Ihaleakala Hew Len, who lectures and conducts Ho’oponopono training throughout the world.

The concept appeals to me and I think the information is worth sharing, so I decided to write up this blog entry, mostly based on the info from www.zerolimits.info that has the excerpt of the book, which by the way I just bought at lunch time today at a local Pathfinder bookshop :) !

Dr.Ihaleakala Hew Len is a therapist/psychologist in Hawaii that worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years, where he cured a ward full of criminally insane patients – without ever seeing any of them in a clinical setting. He would study an inmate’s chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person’s illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved. Huh?

Yep, it didn’t make any sense when I first heard about it either… where’s the logic in that?? Thankfully, from spending the last 5 or so years immersing myself in spirituality, higher consciousness and self help stuff, and having a personal quest for truth, these days I’m much more open to listen and digest new information, even those that are really ‘far out’-‘weird’-‘wild’, and not dismiss it off hand. As Tilopa says… be open to everything, but attached to nothing.

In “Zero Limits” Dr.Len explained to Joe Vitale that in that particular ward at Hawaii State Hospital, they kept the criminally insane and they were dangerous. Psychologists quit on a monthly basis, the staff call in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit.

Dr.Len further explained to Joe that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal.

“After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely”, he said. “Others who had to be heavily medicated were getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed.”

“Not only that,” he went on, “but the staff began to enjoy coming to work. Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we needed because patients were being released, and all the staff was showing up to work. Today, that ward is closed.”

Joe then asked the million dollar question: “What were you doing within yourself that caused those people to change?”

“I was simply healing the part of me that created them,” Dr.Len said.

He then explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life – simply because it is in your life – is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.

Tough to swallow? I bet it is!! Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet the truth is: if you take complete responsibility for you life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life.

Yes, this means that terrorist activity, the president, the politicians, the economy, your ‘annoying’ next door neighbor – anything you experience and don’t like – is up for you to heal! They don’t exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn’t with them, it is with you, and to change them, you have to change you. Huh???

This concept is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is far easier than total responsibility, but ‘healing’ for Dr.Len and in ho’oponopono means loving yourself. If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to cure anyone – even a mentally ill criminal – you do it by healing you.

Joe went on to ask Dr.Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing, exactly, when he looked at those patients’ files?

“I just kept saying, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you’ over and over again,” he explained.

That’s it?

That’s it.

[I’ll add more info here that I got from reading the book, he was saying I’m sorry and I love you to the Divine]

Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world. Joe gave an example of how this works. He said:

“One day, someone sent me an email that upset me. In the past I would have handled it by working on my emotional hot buttons or by trying to reason with the person who sent the nasty message. This time, I decided to try Dr.Len’s method. I kept silently saying, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you’, I didn’t say it to anyone in particular. I was simply evoking the spirit of love to heal within me what was creating the outer circumstance.

Within an hour I got an email from the same person. He apologized for his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn’t take any outward action to get that apology. I didn’t even write him back. Yet, by saying ‘I love you’, I somehow healed within me what was creating him.”

Whew! To me, reading about this brings a new meaning to “taking 100% responsibility for your life”. It takes it to a whole new level… that everything I experience, in any way, is my responsibility, because it is in my life. No exception, no back door, no loop hole. So whenever I want to improve anything in my life, there’s only one place to look: inside me.

And when I look, I will make sure to do it with love!

Thank you Joe, thank you Dr.Len for sharing this with all of us on our journey! If you want to read more about this, I highly recommend you check out:
http://www.zerolimits.info
http://www.hooponopono.org
http://www.hooponoponotheamericas.org/articles.htm

Ciao and be well!! :)

Senyum dari hati

2008-10-23T12:50:00.001+13:00

Hi everyone, just want to share this beautiful story I received in email just now. Keep smiling from the heart! :)

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Kisah di bawah ini adalah kisah yang saya dapat dari milis alumni Jerman, atau warga Indonesia yg bermukim atau pernah bermukim di sana .
Demikian layak untuk dibaca beberapa menit, dan direnungkan seumur hidup.

Saya adalah ibu dari tiga orang anak dan baru saja menyelesaikan kuliah saya. Kelas terakhir yang harus saya ambil adalah Sosiologi. Sang Dosen sangat inspiratif, dengan kualitas yang saya harapkan setiap orang memilikinya. Tugas terakhir yang diberikan ke para siswanya diberi nama "Smiling."
Seluruh siswa diminta untuk pergi ke luar dan memberikan senyumnya kepada tiga orang asing yang ditemuinya dan mendokumentasikan reaksi mereka. Setelah itu setiap siswa diminta untuk mempresentasikan didepan kelas.

Saya adalah seorang yang periang, mudah bersahabat dan selalu tersenyum pada setiap orang. Jadi, saya pikir,tugas ini sangatlah mudah. Setelah menerima tugas tsb, saya bergegas menemui suami saya dan anak bungsu saya yang menunggu di taman di halaman kampus, untuk pergi kerestoran McDonald's yang berada di sekitar kampus.

Pagi itu udaranya sangat dingin dan kering. Sewaktu suami saya akan masuk dalam antrian, saya menyela dan meminta agar dia saja yang menemani si Bungsu sambil mencari tempat duduk yang masih kosong. Ketika saya sedang dalam antrian, menunggu untuk dilayani, mendadak setiap orang di sekitar kami bergerak menyingkir, dan bahkan orang yang semula antri dibelakang saya ikut menyingkir keluar dari antrian. Suatu perasaan panik menguasai diri saya, ketika berbalik dan melihat mengapa mereka semua pada menyingkir ?
Saat berbalik itulah saya membaui suatu "bau badan kotor" yang cukup menyengat, ternyata tepat di belakang saya berdiri dua orang lelaki tunawisma yang sangat dekil! Saya bingung, dan tidak mampu bergerak sama sekali. Ketika saya menunduk, tanpa sengaja mata saya menatap laki-laki yang lebih pendek, yang berdiri lebih dekat dengan saya, dan ia sedang "tersenyum" kearah saya. Lelaki ini bermata biru, sorot matanya tajam, tapi juga memancarkan kasih sayang. Ia menatap kearah saya, seolah ia meminta agar saya dapat menerima 'kehadirannya' ditempat itu. Ia menyapa "Good day!" sambil tetap tersenyum dan sembari menghitung beberapa koin yang disiapkan untuk membayar makanan yang akan dipesan. Secara spontan saya membalas senyumnya, dan seketika teringat oleh saya 'tugas' yang diberikan oleh dosen saya. Lelaki kedua sedang memainkan tangannya dengan gerakan aneh berdiri di belakang temannya. Saya segera menyadari bahwa lelaki kedua itu menderita defisiensi mental, dan lelaki dengan mata biru itu adalah "penolong"nya.

Saya merasa sangat prihatin setelah mengetahui bahwa ternyata dalam antrian itu kini hanya tinggal saya bersama mereka,dan kami bertiga tiba2 saja sudah sampai didepan counter. Ketika wanita muda di counter menanyakan kepada saya apa yang ingin saya pesan, saya persilahkan kedua lelaki ini untuk memesan duluan. Lelaki bermata biru segera memesan "Kopi saja, satu cangkir Nona." Ternyata dari koin yang terkumpul hanya itulah yang mampu dibeli oleh mereka (sudah menjadi aturan direstoran disini, jika ingin duduk di dalam restoran dan menghangatkan tubuh, maka orang harus membeli sesuatu). Dan tampaknya kedua orang ini hanya ingin menghangatkan badan.

Tiba2 saja saya diserang oleh rasa iba yang membuat saya sempat terpaku beberapa saat, sambil mata saya mengikuti langkah mereka mencari tempat duduk yang jauh terpisah dari tamu2 lainnya, yang hampir semuanya sedang mengamati mereka.. Pada saat yang bersamaan, saya baru menyadari bahwa saat itu semua mata di restoran itu juga sedang tertuju ke diri saya, dan pasti juga melihat semua 'tindakan' saya. Saya baru tersadar setelah petugas di counter itu menyapa saya untuk ketiga kalinya menanyakan apa yang ingin saya pesan. Saya tersenyum dan minta diberikan dua paket makan pagi (diluar pesanan saya) dalam nampan terpisah. Setelah membayar semua pesanan, saya minta bantuan petugas lain yang ada di counter itu untuk mengantarkan nampan pesanan saya ke meja/tempat duduk suami dan anak saya. Sementara saya membawa nampan lainnya berjalan melingkari sudut kearah meja yang telah dipilih kedua lelaki itu untuk beristirahat. Saya letakkan nampan berisi makanan itu di atas mejanya, dan meletakkan tangan saya di atas punggung telapak tangan dingin lelaki bemata biru itu, sambil saya berucap "makanan ini telah saya pesan untuk kalian berdua." Kembali mata biru itu menatap dalam ke arah saya, kini mata itu mulai basah ber-kaca2 dan dia hanya mampu berkata "Terima kasih banyak, nyonya." Saya mencoba tetap menguasai diri saya, sambil menepuk bahunya saya berkata "Sesungguhnya bukan saya yang melakukan ini untuk kalian, Tuhan juga berada di sekitar sini dan telah membisikkan sesuatu ketelinga saya untuk menyampaikan makanan ini kepada kalian." Mendengar ucapan saya, si Mata Biru tidak kuasa menahan haru dan memeluk lelaki kedua sambil terisak-isak. Saat itu ingin sekali saya merengkuh kedua lelaki itu. Saya sudah tidak dapat menahan tangis ketika saya berjalan meninggalkan mereka dan bergabung dengan suami dan anak saya, yang tidak jauh dari tempat duduk mereka.

Ketika saya duduk suami saya mencoba meredakan tangis saya sambil tersenyum dan berkata "Sekarang saya tahu, kenapa Tuhan mengirimkan dirimu menjadi istriku, yang pasti, untuk memberikan 'keteduhan' bagi diriku dan anak2ku! " Kami saling berpegangan tangan beberapa saat dan saat itu kami benar2 bersyukur dan menyadari,bahwa hanya karena 'bisikanNYA' lah kami telah mampu memanfaatkan 'kesempatan' untuk dapat berbuat sesuatu bagi orang lain yang sedang sangat membutuhkan.

Ketika kami sedang menyantap makanan, dimulai dari tamu yang akan meninggalkan restoran dan disusul oleh beberapa tamu lainnya, mereka satu persatu menghampiri meja kami, untuk sekedar ingin berjabat tangan' dengan kami. Salah satu diantaranya, seorang bapak, memegangi tangan saya, dan berucap "Tanganmu ini telah memberikan pelajaran yang mahal bagi kami semua yang berada disini, jika suatu saat saya diberi kesempatan olehNYA, saya akan lakukan seperti yang telah kamu contohkan tadi kepada kami." Saya hanya bisa berucap "terimakasih" sambil tersenyum.

Sebelum beranjak meninggalkan restoran saya sempatkan untuk melihat kearah kedua lelaki itu, dan seolah ada 'magnit' yang menghubungkan bathin kami, mereka langsung menoleh kearah kami sambil tersenyum, lalu melambai-2kan tangannya kearah kami. Dalam perjalanan pulang saya merenungkan kembali apa yang telah saya lakukan terhadap kedua orang tunawisma tadi, itu benar2 'tindakan' yang tidak pernah terpikir oleh saya.
Pengalaman hari itu menunjukkan kepada saya betapa 'kasih sayang' Tuhan itu sangat HANGAT dan INDAH sekali!

Saya kembali ke college, pada hari terakhir kuliah dengan 'cerita' ini ditangan saya. Saya menyerahkan 'paper' saya kepada dosen saya. Dan keesokan harinya, sebelum memulai kuliahnya saya dipanggil dosen saya ke depan kelas, ia melihat kepada saya dan berkata, "Bolehkah saya membagikan ceritamu ini kepada yang lain?" dengan senang hati saya mengiyakan. Ketika akan memulai kuliahnya dia meminta perhatian dari kelas untuk membacakan paper saya. Ia mulai membaca, para siswapun mendengarkan dengan seksama cerita sang dosen, dan ruangan kuliah menjadi sunyi. Dengan cara dan gaya yang dimiliki sang dosen dalam membawakan ceritanya, membuat para siswa yang hadir di ruang kuliah itu seolah ikut melihat bagaimana sesungguhnya kejadian itu berlangsung, sehingga para siswi yang duduk di deretan belakang didekat saya diantaranya datang memeluk saya untuk mengungkapkan perasaan harunya. Diakhir pembacaan paper tersebut, sang dosen sengaja menutup ceritanya dengan mengutip salah satu kalimat yang saya tulis diakhir paper saya. "Tersenyumlah dengan 'HATImu', dan kau akan mengetahui betapa 'dahsyat' dampak yang ditimbulkan oleh senyummu itu."

Dengan caraNYA sendiri, Tuhan telah 'menggunakan' diri saya untuk menyentuh orang-orang yang ada di McDonald's, suamiku, anakku, guruku, dan setiap siswa yang menghadiri kuliah di malam terakhir saya sebagai mahasiswi. Saya lulus dengan 1 pelajaran terbesar yang tidak pernah saya dapatkan di bangku kuliah manapun, yaitu: >"PENERIMAAN TANPA SYARAT." >

Banyak cerita tentang kasih sayang yang ditulis untuk bisa diresapi oleh para pembacanya, namun bagi siapa saja yang sempat membaca dan memaknai cerita ini diharapkan dapat mengambil pelajaran bagaimana cara MENCINTAI SESAMA, DENGAN MEMANFAATKAN SEDIKIT HARTA-BENDA YANG KITA MILIKI, dan bukannya MENCINTAI HARTA-BENDA YANG BUKAN MILIK KITA, DENGAN MEMANFAATKAN SESAMA!

Jika anda berpikir bahwa cerita ini telah menyentuh hati anda, teruskan cerita ini kepada orang2 terdekat anda. Disini ada 'malaikat' yang akan menyertai anda, agar setidaknya orang yang membaca cerita ini akan tergerak hatinya untuk bisa berbuat sesuatu (sekecil apapun) bagi sesama yang sedang membutuhkan uluran tangannya!

Orang bijak mengatakan: Banyak orang yang datang dan pergi dari kehidupanmu, tetapi hanya 'sahabat yang bijak' yang akan meninggalkan JEJAK di dalam hatimu. Untuk berinteraksi dengan dirimu, gunakan nalarmu.
Tetapi untuk berinteraksi dengan orang lain, gunakan HATImu!
Orang yang kehilangan uang, akan kehilangan banyak, orang yang kehilangan teman, akan kehilangan lebih banyak! Tapi orang yang kehilangan keyakinan, akan kehilangan semuanya! Tuhan menjamin akan memberikan kepada setiap hewan makanan bagi mereka, tetapi DIA tidak melemparkan makanan itu ke dalam sarang mereka, hewan itu tetap harus BERIKHTIAR untuk bisa mendapatkannya.

Orang-orang muda yang 'cantik' adalah hasil kerja alam, tetapi orang-orang tua yang 'cantik' adalah hasil karya seni. Belajarlah dari PENGALAMAN MEREKA, karena engkau tidak dapat hidup cukup lama untuk bisa mendapatkan semua itu dari pengalaman dirimu sendiri.

Are you dismissing?

2008-10-21T19:56:00.000+13:00

Hello again everyone...
In my daily commute to and from work, I have a habit of listening to audiobooks… I found it to be an effortless way of learning, and also, I like the idea of being in control of what information I allow into my brain!

In the last week or so I’ve been listening to Joe Vitale’s “Attractor Factor”, which is definitely one of the best I’ve come across so far. One of the very first things he talks about was “dismissing”. I could relate to it as I have been doing this too myself, often without realizing it.

What does he mean by dismissing?

Have someone shared information or idea with you, or suggested a book for you to read, or a DVD to watch, but you readily dismiss them because you think:
“That doesn’t make sense to me.”
“I don’t agree with that, so I won’t bother checking it out.”
“A friend of mine said the book is crap.”
“I saw the author being ridiculed on TV for his beliefs, I bet his book is nothing of value”
“I don’t like his presentation style, I’m not gonna listen to him!”
“I already know that”.

One way or another, I believe we have dismissed things – mostly unconsciously. When we dismiss people and ideas, we get to be ‘right’. But do you notice that we also get to stay empty inside?

It doesn’t matter if the book you read and love is loved or hated by anyone else, or if your favorite author or teacher you admire is admired or loathed by anyone else. It does not matter if the healing method, diet regime, or exercise that worked for you doesn’t work for everyone else. What matters is you. Your happiness. Your health. Your healing. Your well-being.

The truth is that we are all unique, so no method works for everyone. No teacher is right for everyone, and no book is going to inspire everyone. It all comes from within. You are the first and final authority on your life. You are the one in charge of your own life!

Joe encourages us to consider this… Rather than dismissing what is possible so that you can be right, what can you accept so that you can grow?

Dismissing is often a way to deflect the messages. In other words it’s a self-defense mechanism. If you dismiss the book, idea, or method offered to you, you get to be right – and stay right where you are.

Dr. Richard Gillett in his book “Change Your Mind, Change Your World” states that “Disapproval is, surprisingly, the most reliable indication of a hidden belief system. Quite often the only way disguised beliefs show themselves is through moments of emotional judgement or disapproval.”

Successful people tend to be more open to accept new tools into their lives over the years. They spend large amount of money on personal growth and self-study, attending seminars, and never regretted any of it. They have an attitude of “If I learn just one new thing I can apply from this seminar, it will be worth it”.

Joe further states that the key is not dismissing, or disapproving, but digesting.

So, before you’re about to dismiss something that other suggested to you, think again! What you’re about to dismiss might be something of tremendous value to you… wouldn’t you want to digest it first?

Ok… off to my guitar practice now… Ciao & be well!

The Cookie Thief

2008-10-19T07:59:00.000+13:00

Hello again! A few interchanges I had this morning with one of my ‘staunch’ acquaintances reminded me about this great little poem by Valerie Cox…

I thought I’ll share it with you. Here it is… enjoy!

The Cookie Thief
a poem by Valerie Cox

A woman was waiting at an airport one night,
With several long hours before her flight.
She hunted for a book in the airport shops.
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.

She was engrossed in her book but happened
to see,
That the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be.
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between,
Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.

So she munched the cookies and watched the
clock,
As the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,
Thinking, “If I wasn’t so nice, I would blacken his eye.”

With each cookie she took, he took one too,
When only one was left, she wondered what he would do.
With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh,
He took the last cookie and broke it in half.

He offered her half, as he ate the other,
She snatched it from him and thought… oooh, brother.
This guy has some nerve and he’s also rude,
Why he didn’t even show any gratitude!

She had never known when she had been so
galled,
And sighed with relief when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate,
Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate.

She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat,
Then she sought her book, which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise,
There was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes.

If mine are here, she moaned in despair,
The others were his, and he tried to share.
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief.

How many times in our lives,
have we absolutely known
that something was a certain way,
only to discover later that
what we believed to be true … was not?

—

Ciao for now!

Taking full responsibility for your own life

2008-10-19T07:49:00.000+13:00

There is one thing that I think is absolutely crucial if we want to grow to reach our full potential, and that is to take full responsibility for your own life. It doesn’t surprise me that in The Success Principles, Jack Canfield (the Chicken Soup for The Soul guy) and Janet Switzer put this as #1 principle among more than 60 principles to “get from where you are to where you want to be”.

When something in your life is not going as planned or as you like, how often do you blame someone or something outside yourself (the circumstances, the weather, the traffic, the economy, your parents, your spouse etc)?

Have you ever said “I’m late coz the traffic was horrible and there were so many idiots on the road!!”, “I failed the exam, the teacher’s unreasonable”, “I’m poor because rich people takes all the money”, “If the economy were not so bad, I would not have lost so much money in my investment”, “What do you expect? My parents never taught me to save money.”, “How can I be happy when I’m married to an asshole”,
Ask yourself, who is the common denominator? Who was late, who failed the exam, who is being poor, who is penniless, who chose to marry the asshole?

Sadly the blame game is so rampant in our society, and most, if not all, governments. Shifting blame when something undesirable happen is all too easy… It’s always something or someone else, as long as it is not you. Not a good example from the people who perceives themselves as our ‘leaders’. It is not surprising that this attitude filters down and most people are caught up in viewing themselves as victims, relying on someone else or something else outside themselves to be responsible for their lives.

One evening after work I was walking to the Auckland CBD to get something to eat as I had to work overtime that day. I didn’t usually take this route but somehow that day I felt like taking that road. After crossing Mayoral Drive I walked down the stairs to Lorne St., I noticed a young woman – probably on her late teen or early 20s - talking to a passerby, which then left after giving her some coins. And then as I walked past she talked to me. Let’s call her Cathy (not her real name), she said “You seem to be a good person… please help, I’m 4 months pregnant, my partner left me and I have no money to eat. The government wouldn’t help me.” I don’t usually buy the story or give to any people who begs for money, unless my heart tells me to, and this time somehow my heart did tell me to. So I stopped and I explained to her that I didn’t have cash with me, but I will come back with some in a few minutes. She asked “You mean you’ll meet me again here?”, and I said “Yes”. I walked down to the ATM, just a block away. The ATM only spews out $20 bills, which I normally think is way too much to give away to someone begging on the street – but somehow today it was different.

I walked back to the place where I told Cathy to wait, and she was there asking other people for money. She looks totally surprised that I came back, she told me that she didn’t think I would keep my word and actually came back. I gave the money to her and she was even more surprised to find out how much it was, thanked me profusely, and said she would pay me back in a few days. I said that it was not necessary, and to just consider it as a gift from me to her, as I gave with a happy heart. I told her to get herself some warm food for her and the baby. I shook her hand and wished her the best – she almost cried. That was the last time I saw Cathy in the area – I hope she’s all well and off the streets now.

As I recall that encounter, it strikes me that there are so many people are expecting the government or someone else to take care of their lives and then getting resentful when they did not get what they expected. Imagine how better our world can be if since early age we are conditioned to take full responsibility for our life.

Okay so now we stop blaming others. Does it mean we only got ourselves to blame? Decidedly not, my friend. Blaming yourself will not achieve anything either as it will only create self-punishing thoughts. Taking full responsibility that you created that unwanted situation does not mean you got yourself to blame. You simply acknowledge that the choice of response (action, or inaction) that you made produced an outcome that you don’t like. There is a lesson in that, so you know better next time to change your response so it produces a different, desirable outcome. It may have been quoted so many times before but there is a profound truth in what Einstein said “insanity is to keep doing the same thing, but expecting different result”.

When talking about the #1 principle, Jack Canfield formulated this simple equation :

E + R = O

where

E = Event

R = Response

O = Outcome

Let’s say you had an event (i.e. you have an exam), you responded (i.e. you studied half-heartedly as it’s world cup season on TV) and got an undesirable outcome (i.e. you failed the exam). The first option is to complain about the event (i.e. I never like exams, they are a waste of time) and blame the event or other people you think is responsible (i.e.nobody reminds me to stop watching TV so much) and make justification for your outcome (i.e. it was too difficult, no one could have passed it).

The second option is to take full responsibility for it. Yes I failed the exam because I did not study properly as I watched too much TV. Next time I know how to be more disciplined and I know I will get a better result. No complaining, no blaming. Much much more simple isn’t it?

So to summarize,

You create your outcome whether you like it or not.
You are the one who can change your response to change the outcome.
Complaining, and blaming anyone (including yourself) will not achieve anything. You’re just giving your power away.

I highly recommend Jack Canfield’s book The Success Principles, check out http://www.jackcanfield.com/ for more information.

Well that’s it for today folks… Stay tuned, God bless!!!

What you think of me is none of my business

2008-10-19T07:27:00.000+13:00

Sounds radical isn't it? I thought so when I first heard this expression. It was Terry Cole-Whittaker who first coined this statement, as a title of one of her books. I admit I haven’t actually had a chance to read this book, but after giving it some pondering this idea makes sense. Definitely a message that is worth getting across.

What’s this all about? Ask yourself these questions…

Do I love what I do now?

Do I do what I do now to please someone else?

Do I say “I’d love to do that but my spouse (or someone else) would not agree.”

Do I say “Yeah I personally think this is what I want to do, but what will they think??”

Do you say “I don’t agree to with this but if I take a stand I will be ridiculed.”

Do you say “I never enjoy going there but they all expected me to come”

Do you say “I don’t really want to travel overseas just to attend the wedding as I am saving my money for buying a house, but I have to”.

Is there anything I love doing that I haven’t done for a long time?

(Or other variations on that theme)

If you live in this wonderful blue planet chances are that you would answer “Yes” to one or more of these questions (I know I did). Then ask yourself again. Is it possible that the fear of criticism and the need to please others has kept you from doing what you really love?

Now let me take you back to your childhood, try to remember or imagine what it was like. When we were a small child we could really be ourselves, without worrying about what others think. If a child want to put a slice of bread on the DVD player they will just do it. If they want to stick their finger up the family dog’s a$$, they will just do it (they really do, it was on America’s
Funniest Home Video a few weeks back!:)). Small children are totally creative, thinks they are invincible and for them the world is full of possibility! Buckminster Fuller once said “We are all born geniuses, but the process of life de-geniuses us” or something to that effect, which I think is bloody accurate.

As we grew up our feeling of invincibility becomes less and less, as we were told again and again that we’re not okay. “Do as I said. Don’t ask why, just do it” “Be good, don’t embarrass mom and dad in front of the guests!” “We always do it this way, are you trying to be smart?” “You are the only one you think about, aren’t you?”. Slowly but surely we were conditioned that it is not OK to put our own approval above others’ approval.

But wait… It got worse when we reached high school! Peer pressure! We became very very concerned about what our peers think, especially what that cute girl/guy we had a crush on will think of us! Denying yourself for the sake of fitting in becomes the norm and soon it became second nature. We become de-sensitized and did not realize that we were denying ourselves… we just felt less and less happy. We feel insecure, and when we feel insecure our creativity is not flowing freely.

The story continues as we go to university, graduate, and get our first job etc. There are just different sets of people we feel we need to please, different set of rules, but still in the same theme. “You’ll be poor if you become an artist, I want you to become a lawyer”. “This is unethical but if I don’t do this I’m gonna lose my job”. “My neighbour has just got a new BMW, we must get a better one otherwise people will think they are doing better than we are.”

Some of you might argue that it is all part of growing up, and those times often brings a smile to our face when we recall those times again. Yes I agree that it is part of growing up, but it all contains lessons for us and the lesson is to learn to transcend that limiting paradigm of valuing others’ approval above our own. If we allow this “but what will they think” thinking process to rule over our life, it will simply immobilize us.

In case you haven't noticed, it is not possible to please everyone. There are always someone that would not agree with your choice. But is this really your problem? No. This is your life and you know what’s best. You respect and consider other people’s opinion but in the end it is you who decide what you would do. If you take full responsibility for your life, you realize that you will make mistakes along the way with the choices you make but that is OK as you know you can learn from those mistakes.

As long as we put others’ approval above our own approval, we can’t reach our full potential and as a result we can’t be truly happy. Living a life like this will sap our energy and enthusiasm… no wonder that so many of us doesn’t even know what we really want anymore.

So, what can you do?

First, decide that you are going to live life for yourself. It doesn’t mean you are not being considerate to others. The fact is that you will be more loving and have more respect to them as you are aware that they also have the right to do the same.

Second, make a conscious effort before making any commitment or decision to ask yourself. Is this really what I want to do? Is this for my highest good? If it doesn’t feel that way, speak your truth. In other words, your thoughts or values, words, and actions are congruent. Others will respect you even more.

It’s not gonna be easy at first… personally it is still challenging for me too. But as we grow to be more aware of our feelings, we are reversing the de-sensitization process and it will get easier to be who you are.

When you are being authentic, people will react differently. You’ll be a much happier person with high level of enthusiasm so you will attract the right people and circumstances into your life. Before you know it everything starts to fall into place and so on… ;). The effect will be like a snowball and I bet you’re gonna like this snowball!

Sooooo, yes, “what you think of me is none of my business” may sound quite radical. And I think, for most of us, it is quite radical. It was only after some cogitation that I started to grasp the concept. Only when I look beyond its seemingly ‘arrogant’ outer shell, I can see a sense of inner peace there. That is being at peace and content with who you are while still being loving and respectful to others.

I’d like to close with a quote I heard (I can’t remember who actually said it) : “When I was 14 I was worried of what others think of me, when I was 40 I no longer care what others think of me, and now I am 60 I realize that nobody were thinking of me anyway – they were busy worrying about what others think of them!”

Well… I hope you enjoy reading my rambling here. If you do enjoy it, good… if not (or if you think I’m crazy or whatever), that’s OK too. I’m having fun writing this and “what you think of me is none of my business”

Ciao!

Attitude of Gratitude

2008-10-19T07:11:00.000+13:00

One of my simple daily joy came from listening to uplifting audiobooks in my car (that is, when I’m not having spirited drive in the twisty back roads of West Auckland!). My house is approximately 17kms away from Auckland Central Business District and I spend at least 30 minutes commuting each way to and from work. Although you can’t compare it with what you find in Jakarta, Tokyo, or Bangkok, we do have traffic congestion in Auckland – which is considered pretty bad, for New Zealand standard anyway.

Usually we see traffic congestion as something to complain about, use it as an excuse for arriving late etc… and I used to be like that too. But since I started the habit of listening to spiritual/motivational/mindset/financial/business audiobooks, the everyday commute becomes something I look forward to as it gives me reminder to correct my thinking when things weren’t going as expected, gives me motivational boost, and stimulate my mind to come up with new ideas and things to try etc.

This morning I listened again to one of my old collections, this time it is Wayne Dyer’s “It’s never crowded along the extra mile”. I haven’t listened to this maybe in about a year, and it always fascinates me that I often find that certain topic jumps out at me, while it didn’t while I listened so many times previously. When it does, a deeper understanding usually follows. One of the topics that jumped
out to me this morning was the importance of having an attitude of gratitude.

Why is it important to have an attitude of gratitude? We live in the universe that is based upon attraction, so when we are truly feeling grateful we attract more of what we are grateful for, and more! On the contrary when we are not grateful, we focus on what’s wrong, and we will attract more of what we don’t want. An
attitude of gratitude is an attitude that invites in miracles. That is how it works. It doesn’t matter whether we agree with it or think this is a bunch of airy-fairy hogwash, and it works regardless of we understanding or believing it or not. Just like gravity works whether you’re a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ person. Whether you’re a reverend or a pimp, when you jump out of a building you will fall to the ground.

“How can I be grateful when I just lost my job???” you might ask. Well, see it as a gentle (okay, maybe not so gentle) nudge from God that something better is waiting for you.

In every setback there is always an equal or greater opportunity.

A young lady that broke her arm in an accident then met a young doctor in the hospital, fell in love with each other, and got married, will look back at the accident as something to be grateful for. Whatever you needed to go through in life to be where you are now, you went through – and the evidence is that you did. You don’t need any other evidence.

Is it easy or difficult for you to create a list of things to be grateful for? Just get a piece of paper now and start writing them down… if you find it difficult, the more important it is that you do this exercise.

On the audiobook, Wayne read this wonderful observation, which for me really put things into perspective about the importance of having an attitude of gratitude.

If we could reduce the world’s population to a village of precisely 100 people, keeping all human proportions equal, this is what it would look like:

There would be:

57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 from the West Hemisphere, both North and South
8 Africans
52 females
48 males
70 non white
30 white
70 would be non-Christians
30 would be Christian

6 people would possess 59% of the entire world’s wealth and all 6 would be from the United States.

80 would live in huts
70 would be illiterate
50 would suffer malnutrition
1 would be about to die; 1 would be about to be born
1 would possess college education (yes, only one)
1 would have a computer

When one considers our world from this condensed perspective, the need for
acceptance, understanding and education becomes evident.

The following is also worth thinking about:

If we woke up this morning with more health than sickness, we are luckier than
the million that will not survive this week.

If we have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of
imprisonment, the agony of torture or the pangs of hunger, then we are ahead of the 500 million inhabitants of this world.

If we are able to go to church without fear of harassment, arrest, torture or
death, then we are blessed compared to three billion people in the wold.

If we have food in our refrigerators, clothing on our backs, a roof over our
heads and a place to sleep, then we are richer than 75% of the rest of the
world.

If we have money in our bank account, in our wallets and spare change somewhere in a container, then we are among the 8% rich people of the world.

If our parents are still alive and still married, then we are a rarity, even in
the United States and Canada.

If we can read this message, then we are more fortunate than the two billion
people in the world that are unable to read.

Do you think it helps to put things into perspective and calls for some gratitude?

So, if you haven’t, start developing an attitude of gratitude. Maybe start with being grateful that you are breathing and you have eyes to read this blog hehehe.

Ciao for now!